peach mello yello from the fountain machine
seriously having the worst day ever. i hate myself more than i have in a very long time. not trying my hardest to stay alive today.
so tired. and i have three hours of math lab tonight. sometimes i surprise the hell out of myself and idk if its deep in my memory from high school or some part of my brain just “gets it” but i will just know how to solve certain kinds of problems . i literally have no idea what the math im doing means but somehow i can do it and thats what drives me crazy about math in general (being able to do it without actually understanding it) the worst part of my math classes is that its all online even though i have to actually go to campus to take the course. there are people there to help you and stuff but its not the same as getting an interactive lesson from a person. i am definitely more inclined to auditory learning and you can only go back and watch lesson videos so many times when what you really need is someone willing to reword or explain it differently.
as much as i dont want to… i am creating a new tumblr. someone i dont want in my life is refusing to unfollow me and me just blocking them isnt going to prevent them from seeing my posts. i will gradually be refollowing all my follows (that sounds weird) so hopefully my mutuals will follow me back. unless anyone knows a way to make someone unable to see my posts indefinitely short of hacking into their account unfollowing myself and then changing my URL,, i dont know what to do
i didnt get the car but all hope is not lost. the person selling it had an issue with the title and they are getting it fixed before we drive all the way out there and decide if i want it or not
U GAIZ
plz send posi vibes my way. i may have found a vehicle and this would be the next step in making my life better. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! i hope this all works out!!
if attachment is not a real experience and a product of the mind then my mind is actually strong as fuck